I absolutely kid you not- Japanese Foreign Minister Fumio Kishida on Japan's response to "Islamic terrorism"-
"...We will continue our efforts to deepen relations with the Middle East,
building on coexistence, co-prosperity and collaboration."
In tomorrow's issue, Chancellor Merkel reveals her plan for a final solution to Greek debt.
Speaking of which, courtesy of TheGirl, and also not made up-
"We utilize chemicals, heat, exclusion, and cryogenics to eliminate pests. "
Exclusion... like you put them into a little area all their own?
And I do NOT want to know which chemicals.
(For those who don't understand why this is hilarious, The Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere (大東亞共榮圏 Dai-tō-a Kyōeiken) was an imperial propaganda concept created and promulgated for occupied Asian populations during the first third of the Shōwa era by the government and military of the Empire of Japan. It extended greater than East Asia and promoted the cultural and economic unity of Northeast Asians, Southeast Asians, and Oceanians. It also declared the intention to create a self-sufficient "bloc of Asian nations led by the Japanese and free of Western powers". It was announced in a radio address entitled "The International Situation and Japan's Position" by Foreign Minister Hachirō Arita on June 29, 1940. An Investigation of Global Policy with the Yamato Race as Nucleus—a secret document completed in 1943 for high-ranking government use—laid out the superior position of Japan in the Greater Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere, showing the subordination of other nations was part of explicit policy and not forced by the war. It explicitly states the superiority of the Japanese over other Asian races and provides evidence that the Sphere was inherently hierarchical, including the Japanese Empire's true intention of domination over the Asian continent.)