Can't take credit for these, but they made me laugh.
"Going to executions used to be a very popular thing."
"I suppose, but it's not like watching Australia versus Pakistan in cricket."
"Ah, but what if the winners got to hang the losers?"
"Then you would have the best summer sport ever.
Except for otter hunting."
"I'd rather hunt a stag than talk to a pretty girl."
"What, even on a not very good day like today?"
"Well, I'm not sure. I've never actually talked to a pretty girl."
"There's no chemistry between us.
The Rohypnol wears off before the Viagra kicks in."
"I rely on my personality for contraception.
So far, it's been one hundred per cent effective."