Lyrics to Everybody is Bitter in a Small Town...

But first, from a small town Pennsylvania church,

"Jesus guards a Rio Grande border crossing".

(Watch out, Site Meter, it's a Tamalanche!)

In the post earlier, today, I nominated Miranda Lambert's

Famous in a Small Town

for The One(tm)'s new theme song.

I like it anyway. And if you look at this version, you'll see proof that all small town people are, as we know, Raaaaaaacist!!!!

And here are the fresh new lyrics I wrote- editing help welcome.

Barack O says life is so much sweeter
through the telephoto lens of fame.
Around here we're mad, we don’t get no attention
from administrations as they change.

I dreamed of going to the steel mill.
Get myself some good old union work.
But it closed down way back in 1980
So I blamed myself and acted like a jerk.

Every broke one, put upon, loser here has a story to tell,
Every trailer livin’, Idol watchin deadbeat bum
maybe knows it just a little too well
If you shoot a deer or you're drunk on beer,
go to church or hatin' on Mexicans,
Everybody is bitter in a small town.

All of the factories closed down
Back when Jimmy Carter ruled the land.
We know them there Union wages had no equal,
So since then we’ve been sitting on our hands.

Every beat down, wears a frown xenophobe's got a story to tell.
Every gun nut, bigot, idiot
Maybe knows it just a little too well
If you’re a Jesus freak, turn the other cheek
Don't you blame it on the Democrats,
Everybody is bitter in a small town.

Baby who
Gets their faces in a magazine
Me and you
We've been stuck in this town since we were 17

Let's go on down to the rally,
In our worn out trucks and our
ragged old blue jeans.
And we'll cheer like fools
For Saint Barack Obama,
‘Cause he’s the one who really understands. (who'll save us with his schemes, maybe?)

Every helpless, clueless country hick’s got a story to tell.
And THE ONE will listen, nod and smile
We won’t hate black folks or be scared of hell.
We’re all white red necks, but with special checks,
We’ll know how to vote from this time on
We’ll no longer be bitter in a small town.

Then I found that someone had parodied a different small town song.

I like mine better.