Thursday, February 04, 2010

Gay Soldier Transition Program...

So. LabRat's great post on gay soldiers got me thinking. The military services, like every other big government program. never make a big change without announcements and creating transition teams...

"Today the President ordered the armed services to immediately cease any and all special regulatory or UCMJ recognition of homosexuality. As Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, I appear before you today to discuss the implementation of this policy.

First, he which hath no stomach to this fight, let him depart; his passport shall be made, and crowns for convoy put into his purse. We would not die in that man's company that fears his fellowship to die with us.

Any service member who wants to quit because of this change may apply within the next thirty days. He will be released as soon as service convenience permits it. He will receive a special hardship discharge that notes "unable to serve alongside gay Americans" as the reason for his separation.

But we know that the few remaining service members who do not run from this change will wonder how to face it.

I can best discuss implementation of the change within the services by quoting- it is a day for quotes, isn't it?- Fred Reed on the two greatest practical problems.

"Soldiers don't want a sergeant who they know is gay as an Easter bonnet, who has the power to make life miserable, leering at them if the towel drops."

That one is easy. Our policies remain exactly the same about unfit or criminal commanders as they were last week. Oppression by superiors of those under their command will never be tolerated. There is plenty of room in the E-1 ranks, Leavenworth, and Portsmouth for those who misuse their authority.

"Men do not like being eyed by other men in the barracks and showers."

We accept that this problem exists, and that it is one for which many soldiers are unprepared. The eye-up terror will force some from our ranks.

For those who dare to confront it, help will be available.

We recognise the value of experience. For example, we try to use previously wounded veterans to help transition wounded soldiers from hospital bed to their futures.

the President has authorised the direct commission of a new Lieutenant- General.
This officer has a great deal of experience with this specific problem, and already has effective policies in place for dealing with it. Our newest General will command a special unit tasked to help soldiers face this new challenge. This unit will be recruited from those who have already successfully faced, and triumphed over, the truly destructive experience of unwanted sexual advance. Many of the new members of this command are already familiar to soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines. We hope that familiarity, like the previous service of volunteer veteran counselors at VA hospitals, will make it easier for our service members to manage this, their newest challenge.

I'd like you to meet the United States Army's newest General Officer.

And here is a list of potential recruits with the sort of qualifications and experience to handle this program.


Roberta X said...

Didn't the troops come up with a kind of a workaround fix to the bad/creepy/jerk officer problem in Vietnam? Gosh, what did they call it, "frogging" or something? No, not quite the right word....

mikee said...

I was a research associate for a few years at the Naval Research Lab in DC. One of the benefits of the job was use of the lab's library - which not only contained science lit but also naval publications. I happened upon the official Navy report on integration of black officers into the service.

The best Negro Chiefs in the Navy - the highest rank a Negro could attain - were volunteered into officer training, then put into active service. Of course, having years and years of service in leadership roles as Chief Petty Officers, these newly minted officers excelled. The non-Negro officers quickly accepted them, because of their ability, and of course their orders from on high to do so, and the non-Negro seamen quickly accepted them, because to do anything else regarding a former Navy Chief would invite instant destruction.

After such an introduction to the superb abilities of Negro Navy officers, subsequent Negro Navy officers not only had a great precedent to follow, but an expectation of excellence.

I would suggest a similar program of volunteers from the current population of closeted homosexuals with admirable service records would produce similar results.

staghounds said...

I did not know that!

Excellent idea. I always thought the Navies had a bit of an edge over the Armies in dealing with reality. The army only goes to war when there is a war, but the fleet is at war with the sea every minute.