Tuesday, February 02, 2010

The REAL reason I hate PETA...

Today, I realised the real reason I hate Peta.


Some other man thought PETA up. I !@#$%^ hate him. Here's the deal:

1. Create tax free non profit quango. Its mission? Help cuddly, furry animals.

2. Collect money from old ladies and crazy people who love cuddly, furry animals.

3. Come up with promotions and stunts that overtly intend to help cuddly, furry animals, but which in fact by their very enunciation make their messages ridiculous to all but those already committed to the cause.

"Let's call fish "sea kittens!"

"Pity Poor Punxsatawney Phil, waked up at seven one day a year!"

4. Come up with more promotions and stunts that will also convert no one, but which make use of eager participation by gorgeous, slightly dim, and easily led women.

Naked participation.

5. (Thank you Bill!) Hire your friends to run animal shelters. They don't have to be competent.

6.Pay self well. Travel often. Spend lots of time with gorgeous, slightly dim, and easily led women who love cuddly, furry animals, deeply admire your dedication thereto, and want ever so much to help you.

7. Repeat ad infinitum.

8. Die happy, having neither improved the lot of any animal nor converted not a single person who is not a gorgeous, slightly dim, and easily led woman to the love of cuddly, furry animals.

Serious, serious, jealousy inspired hate.

1 comment: