Friday, December 02, 2016

President Trump's First Official Act Advice...

" The criminal power of Federal law, and the resources devoted to its enforcement,  should be reserved for those acts we as a people agree harm us all.

It is clear to me that the people of the United States no longer wish the possession and use of Marijuana to be a Federal crime. I hereby exercise this office's powers under Article II of the Constitution to pardon every Federal conviction for marijuana crimes, whenever committed. I intend to issue a similar pardon to each person so charged as long as I am President, and to instruct my Attorney General and U. S. Attoneys to cease enforcing this unwanted prohibition until Congress votes to repeal it, which act I would sign immediately. I except from this pardon and instruction crimes of importing Marijuana into the United States. "

Just an idea.

Thursday, October 06, 2016

California Ballot Initiatives- You Have To Be High...

California has two ballot initiatives, in addition to the usual one letting the State horn in on the weed business.

They are Propositions 67  and 60.

67 outlaws the practice of offering plastic bags to store shoppers at the point of sale.

60 requires the wearing of a plastic bag while filming pornographic movies.

The first has no special monitoring mechanism, but the second will be enforced by  California Occupational Safety and Health inspectors.

The jokes write themselves.

If I could go back in time and show my grandmother a newspaper from today, she'd say

"That H. G. Wells has gone mad. The time machine and invasion from space were believable but this is just crazy."

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Friday, April 15, 2016

The Creepiest Thing Ever Sold...

I used to think the safety plug for Little Boy was the creepiest thing I'd ever sold at auction. No more.

And it's not this, either. Although it's creepier than the plug.

No, it's this

humble desk blotter, a 1941 Christmas present from a loving wife to her devoted husband.  It still has his signatures all over the blotting paper. He liked the pretty blue ink, who knew?

 If you hold it up to the mirror you could probably read them.

Reinhard Heydrich, Reinhard Heydrich, Reinhard Heydrich...

I would not have it in my house, thank you.

Saturday, February 27, 2016

This explains EVERYTHING!!!

The Washington Post's aggressive investigative team has broken it all out into the open!

"When Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia died 12 days ago at a West Texas ranch, he was among high-ranking members of an exclusive fraternity for hunters called the International Order of St. Hubertus, an Austrian society that dates back to the 1600s."

By burrowing deeply into such obscure, concealed places as websites, newspapers, police reports, and party invitations, they have ferreted out the International Order of St. Hubertus! All that J-school training paid off.

What the Post fails to mention- probably out of fear of retribution- is the real power behind what appears to be a friendly group of like- minded men. * It's there though- right in the ninth paragraph-

"In 1695, Count Franz Anton von Sporck founded the society in Bohemia..."

This explains EVERYTHING!! Clearly, Justice Scalia was a plant all along. People have often been confused by his rulings, but now we know what was behind them. The Washington Post may be afraid to say it out loud, but I'm not.

Justice Scalia was a tool of Big Spork.  Upholding flight restrictions, so no proper forks on airplanes in the cheap seats. What do you think the Guantanamo prisoners eat with? He ruled for Monsanto in Bowman- and what is the favored tool for creamed corn? How many times could his otherwise inexplicable decisions in favor of fast food giants be understood now that his loyalty to the two tines and a bowl is known?

Perhaps the clearest, almost explicit, demonstration is in his opinion in Thomas v Chicago Park District.   Scalia, despite his own disgust, had found burning a flag to be free speech. Yet in Thomas, he ruled AGAINST a marijuana  advocacy group which had appealed the denial of a park permit for a rally. Why? "The picnicker and soccer player, no less than the political activist or parade marshal, must apply for a permit if the 50-person limit is to be exceeded."

And who uses sporks? Picnickers and soccer players. Not weed, they eat the doritos right out of the bag. 

And of course he held against Marriage Equality. Can you imagine a fabulous wedding with sporks? I thought not.

Alas, we found out too late. 

*"They have capes! What is this men only stuff, I want to join!"- TheGirl

Monday, February 15, 2016