Friday, June 27, 2008

Hilarious, "Walk of No Shame"

I don't have television, so I missed this.

Zimbabwe refuses to vote...

Last election, there were all day lines at every polling statiom. Today, for the "runoff"...

Now everybody will have a gun!!!

The Mayor of a city where honest people are disarmed by law said yesterday in response to Heller-

“Does this lead to everyone having a gun in our society?”

Yes, it does.

Just like the First Amendment has lead to everyone having a newspaper subscription, a church membership, and a protest sign.

Or, if you read the Supreme Court 1A cases, p*rn, a burning flag, snakes to handle, and a brown shirt they wore in Skokie.

These people are JPFN**.

We've heard it before.

You see, Mr. Mayor, in America, there are, shockingly, things that are neither prohibited nor mandatory.

We've heard it before though. I'm sure your Great Grandfather said "Now the niggers will be living next door to me!"

** "Just Plain F*cking Nuts". A term a psychiatrist I know often uses. From page 317 of the DSM-IV, I think.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Send Barack your baby!

Be sure to check the FAQs!

Your address is a P.O. box. Is that safe?

Don’t worry, the mailman will not put your baby in the P.O. box itself. There is a separate room in the post office for packages, and one of Barack’s assistants picks babies up from there at 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. every weekday.

Doctor Ossian Sweet smiles...

Every American school child knows this house:

They ought to know this one too. Maybe they ought to know it better.

On November 5, 1917, millions of Americans woke up to find that no State, City, or County could use its power to make black folks live in a particular location. The U. S. Supreme Court read the Constitution.

On May 17, 1954, millions of Americans woke up to find that no State, City, or County could use its power to make black children go to segregated schools. The U. S. Supreme Court read the Constitution.

And today, the U. S. Supreme Court told every State, City, and County that it couldn't use its power to force people- specifically, lakhs of black people in Washington, D.C.- to remain unarmed and helpless in their own homes.

If there are ghosts, I think those of the Sweet family , who will always haunt that little house, are smiling.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I was almost gagged!

And not in the fun way, either.

Defence lawyer's criminal was upset that the news sellers described his customer's actions based on the police report, so he filed a "Motion for Gag Order" to command me, the police officer, and the victim not to talk to the press.

My response was that none of us had talked to the press, we didn't intend to, but the Court was welcome to order us not to do what we intended not doing.

Based on that, he didn't issue an order.

I understand that the other Judges and defence lawyers are upset, feeling that the Judge should have issued an order that I not speak to anyone, ever, about anything. Missed opportunities.

And one did not have the chance to ask,

"Ball or Bit? Will the Court order Miss X from the clerk's office to put it in?"

Friday, June 20, 2008

Snarky fashion shop reviewer Cintra Wilson, courtesy of Ann Coulter...

Who would think that Ann Coulter would tell me about an hilarious boulevardier lefty like Cintra Wilson?

Her regular job seems to be reviewing clothing stores for the New York Times. Not the ones at the mall, but Prada and Louboutin:

The Pigalle is not for wearing, but it is the most eloquent visual argument against capitalism since the 19th-century cotton mill.

Back when I was working, I often went into high end stores in the city. It was fun and free amusement, good for her figuring out how to make a buck off it.

Who would have thought that a woman named after an embarrassing nineteenth century treaty would make me laugh?

Bonus giant dismembered lobster exoskeleton picture!

Uh oh, I'll bet I'm Google #1 for dismembered lobster exoskeleton...

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Victoria's Secret Thong Expert Testimony...

Snippets from my (very slim and VS customer) friend K's remarks about the Victoria's Secret thong eye injury lawsuit:

K: "I wish I had thought of that. I could buy a pair two sizes too small...

No wait, no I couldn't. They don't make XXXXS."

When I think of how close I wish I had come to blindness...

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

A truly wonderful piece about policing...

Just read it. Not a lot of laughs.

Oddly enough, this happened to be playing when I read the piece above. Pretty good soundtrack:

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

World's largest orgy! NYC is paying $2000 a month for rural pasture board!

NYC is paying $2000 a month for rural pasture board! Seriously! $2,500,000/10/12!

Looks as though Ms. Nanninga, Detective DePamphilis, and every single New York City taxpayer got screwed on this one. Maybe they should ship them to Moscow. Or I'll buy a farm in the Millbrook country.

Monday, June 16, 2008

British pistol design thoughts...

In a discussion in comments at a Tam, post, the Empress of Snark quoted someone as saying,

"...most British handguns looked like they had been designed by someone who had not only never held a handgun before, but didn't like them very much, either.

I had the audacity to respond,

"The "never held one" comment is clever, but wrong, if you've ever actually used one yourself. Until the mid 20th century, British handguns were the best, or as good as the best, personal self defense tools available.

(Given the ammunition and state of reliability gunsmithing the time.)

Pick a date between 1800 and the end of the first German war, and a pistol from Britain would probably be your first or as good as your first choice.

Not surprising, British officers were doing a lot of defending themselves during that period and they shared their experiences.

Most people don't know it, but Britain produced almost all the "how to" fighting handgun literature in the 19th century, too. Obvious, really- those frontier subalterns and deputy collectors were both literate and literary.

Those Americans who were pistol fighting in the same period didn't much run to letters, magazine articles, and books."

Since gun nuts like pointless controversy, I thought I'd put it up here in case any one wants to discuss it.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Wooden computers! Wooden Radiators! Slinky Radiators!

Design day here at Kennels...

These people overestimated the demand for a wooden desktop comp.

Wooden laptop!

Plastic laptop? Put it in this wooden case.

Plug it into this big old wooden stupidity machine.

Keep warm with a wooden radiator.

And, the coolest, a radiator shaped like a Slinky. With bonus inquisitive visitor alert feature!

Monday, June 09, 2008

Thank God Japan has strict gun control laws...

I don't have the energy to rewrite this one. Japan in fact DOES have strict laws against knives, guns, swords, and murder. Predictably, there are calls for increasing gun and knife controls now. Listening for the outcry around the world about Japan's "Elf Culture", but all I hear are crickets.

According to the press they get ten or so of these rampages in a year's time. Zero beatings to death of stabbers as far as I know.

Seriously, he stabbed EIGHTEEN PEOPLE????? How does one stab eighteen people? I know, start with the slow ones. It's not as though he went to the place where the speediest children of Nippon hang out, but you'd think that by the time he was pulling his Rambo knife out of number eight or nine, even the pastiest basement dwelling gamer would have built up a commanding lead.

And how do you say "United 93, motherf*cker!" in Japanese? One knife beats one man every time, and usually two, but it's not much help against four or five, who can then do an Edward II on knifeboy.

No sons or daughters of the Samurai here, looks like just the ethos of the Iwo Jima losers was transmitted.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Turkish Prosecutor and Court are heroes!

Abdurrahman Yalçınkaya's name should be a household word.

For those of my reader who doesn't know, the Turkish Constitutional Court just found that allowing women to wear a head scarf on State University Property is unconstitutionally inconsistent with the secular state, and the APK is under indictment.

Plenty of people safe in the West think, or pretend to think, that this is an issue of religious freedom. It's not, dress means something .

The hijab is a tool of oppression and intimidation, because it marks and separates those who submit to the religion and those who don't.

"So, Mumtaz, where is your hijab today?"

"I don't know who she is, but we'd better not be seen talking to her. My brothers would kick my ass."

"Mrs. Ercek gave me a C because I wear hijab. That's why Faizulla got an A.

"I know your parents back in the village, do they know that you are not wearing hijab?"

"Godless whore."

Then again, some people understand just fine.

Being free is more important than sucking up to the okiphobic EU bureaucrats.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

How do you get to the Olympics?

Take the Fuxing Road!

Not far from Fuxingmen Outer Street. If you're interested in that sort of thing.

(Expect a quick rename if this gets well known.)

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Thank God Britain Has Strict Gun Control Laws...

No one could make this up, I'm sorry she suffered, and I hate murder. But better her than someone who didn't do her damnedest to put people at the mercy of the meanest and strongest. Talk about reaping what one sows.

I wonder if her last thoughts were "I'm so glad I don't have a gun!"?

I particularly like the use of the term "unrelated" used to refer to the attack on the railroad employee. If the same person did both things, they are pretty related!

Don't have to rewrite the Nevada mass killing...

... because there wasn't one. That's the problem, when they end right there aren't enough corpses to make the front page.