In The Navy, 2005...

Where can you be helpless
When you get in a mess

If a murderer attacks?
Where can you begin to learn you that had best  not
Watch out for your ship mate's backs?
Where can you learn to hide
Out behind a closed blind
Hoping that no one will see?
Duck and run for cover
If bullets fly over
Or run out the back to flee...

In the navy
You had better not shoot back
In the navy
You'll get your ass in a crack
In the navy
Come on now, people, don't you stand
In the navy, in the navy
You had best not raise a hand!
In the navy
You can protect the mother land
In the navy
But just not your fellow man!
In the navy
Never never make a  stand!

In the navy, in the navy, in the navy (in the navy)

They want you, they want you
They want you to keep your head down!

If you're down for shaheed
AK up and proceed
To a recruiting office fast
Don't you hesitate
There is no need to wait
Just shoot at all the seamen fast
Maybe you are too young
To join up today
Bout don't you worry 'bout a thing
For I'm sure there will be
Always a good navy
targets on the  land you see.

In the navy
Yes, you can grovel on the floor
In the navy
Yes, you can hope they shoot no more
In the navy
Call the cops, don't make a stand
In the navy, in the navy
We'll make sure  you need a hand
In the navy
Don't dare protect the motherland
In the navy
Hide out with your fellow man
In the navy
Don't dare be bold or make a stand
In the navy, in the navy, in the navy (in the navy)

They want you, they want you
They want you as a new recruit!

Who me?

They want you, they want you
Just as long as you dare not shoot!

But, but, but, I have a gun permit.
Hey, hey look
Man, I don't want to be executed!

They want you, they want you in the navy

Oh my goodness.
What am I gonna do when the jihad comes?

They want you, they want you in the navy


In the navy
you damned well better not shoot back
In the navy
you'll get your ass in a crack
In the navy
Come take cover, don't you stand
In the navy, in the navy
You had best not raise a hand!
In the navy
You can protect the mother land
In the navy
But not your fellow man!
In the navy
Never never make a  stand!

David Weigel, Wrong but Brave Journalist...

     At last, a trained journo chooses to be responsible about a publicity murderer-


"I'm simply not comfortable printing the name of the killer. More than most of his spree-murder peers, he made it very clear that he wanted to be loved and worshiped, saying as much in a self-pitying manifesto and a series of mopey vlogs. Let's forget the guy and leave him for the worms."


     Although we disagree about a lot of things, THANK YOU Mr. Weigel for not printing the killer's name, and adding insult and degradation.  That's the only practical way to deter them.

     Everyone knows the next one is watching, and the way other media outlets  persist in rewarding publicity killers  is so irresponsible that it suggests they want more of them .

     I wish he ran CNN, or at least could convince his employers to stop encouraging these useless losers- because the sidebar to his Slate article is full of killer-building stories.

     One of which is the most next killer encouraging story I have ever seen, from the New York Post-  a cover and skimpy clothing pictures of a woman the trash loser blamed for his acts. Not only is her life wrecked, but copiers will see their power to use our trained, expert journos'  "news"  "judgement" to embarrass and injure the targets of their perverse wrath.

     Beyond shameful, if they had the ability to feel shame.

Quick Thinking Norwegian Teens Take Down Killer...

"We knew we were on our own" is often repeated by young heroes talking about their successful resistance to a killer on Norway's Utoya Island, near Oslo, site of the Scandinavian kingdom's worst mass murder ever with 34 people dead.

The island was at the time the venue of a Labour Party youth conference. But the holiday atmosphere turned to horror when a man in Police uniform appeared and began shooting the campers.
"At first he asked some of us to come over to him, when we did he started shooting at us. I saw several of my friends hit, then a bullet hit me and knocked me down." said one injured witness.

According to another teenager on the scene, "As soon as he started shooting, everyone ran for shelter. We had all been through the active shooter resistance class at school, and since we could get away, we did."

Then, witnesses say, the killer began to stalk his victims. According to another of the teens, "He just walked along the shore, and when he would find someone hiding he would kill them. We were all behind some rocks a few yards inland from the beach, and he was coming our way. "Hilda" (name changed) was beside me, and she said, "He's killing our friends! It's an island, we can't just wait until he kills everybody!".

According to this witness, "Hilda" suggested that the small group of teens fight back when the killer approached. "We learned in school that these murderers are in a high state of stress and are usually as incompetent at violence as they are at life, so resistance generally stops them. So Hilda suggested that we distract him and then attack from another direction".

"She said that we should gather up stones, and we did. Then she said she would run out from one side of the boulders we were behind, and the rest of us should attack him from the other when he saw her. "Gustav", who is 18, said he should do the running, since he was the 400 meter hurdle champion at his school, and he and "Hilda" argued over it. But she is not very fast and only 14, so we all told her to let him."

"When the man came close, watching along the shoreline, we counted down and "Gustav" took off. The man was startled to see him and pointed his rifle at "Gustav". "Hilda" said "NOW!" and she charged."

"The man shot at "Gustav" who was running in a serpentine pattern. It was about 40 meters from us to the killer, so he got a couple of shots off before "Hilda's" yelling distracted him again. She threw her rocks as she ran, the rest of us did too, and before he could get his gun pointed at us we were on him. Six of us piled on him and it was like Gulliver, we just buried him."

"Gustav" came back and joined in. We held the man down even though he struggled. We took his guns away, and a couple of us who have similar guns at home carried them some distance away and put them on the ground so no one would think they were the murderer. Other people helped the wounded. We waited for the Police and they took the man away."

Police arrived at the island crime scene about an hour and a half after a gunman first opened fire, slowed because they didn’t have quick access to a helicopter and then couldn’t find a boat to make their way to the scene just several hundred yards offshore.

The killer was taken into custody and according to sources treated for multiple fractures and dislocations.


Isn't that better than "Survivors of the shooting spree have described hiding and fleeing into the water to escape the gunman, but a police briefing Saturday detailed for the first time how long the terror lasted — and how long victims waited for help"?

How do you say "United 93, motherf*cker!" in Norwegian?

I am a tremendous advocate for teaching children, because it's true, that

"Five or six seventh-grade kids and a 95-pound art teacher can basically challenge, bring down and immobilize a 200-pound man with a gun."

Just like a bunch of farmers can drive off a King.

Fort Hood LOSER Mass Killing Rewrite

Do it yourself, I'm travelling.

I love all the "motive is unclear" stuff from the people giving this trash traitor and maker of orphans MILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLICITY.

Hey, he's a psychiatrist. His actions make perfect sense!

It's not as though he knew what to say to game the system and avoid being deployed.

Or could prescribe himself drugs, either.

Face it- shooting up a base full of soldiers is the PERFECT way to avoid the three worst things about deployment- uncertainty, risk of injury, and a dramatic decline in personal living conditions.

Yep, he did it because he didn't want to be deployed. Its the only POSSIBLE explanation.

Hero With Pistol Saves The Day In D.C.!

"A cowardly loser armed with a rifle walked into the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum in downtown Washington today and opened fire on a security guard. He was immediately shot and seriously wounded by two guards armed with pistols.

The wounded security guard and the failure were both taken to George Washington University Hospital with serious injuries. A third person sustained minor injuries in the incident.

A law enforcement source said that "We have no intention, now or ever, of naming the zero who did this, or disseminating his ugly picture, stupid motives, or infantile thoughts. Look, in simple words for the reporters and their editors, THEY DO IT FOR THE FAME. This chickensh*t won't get publicity from us. "

Law enforcement agencies arrived, as usual for a reactive force, after the danger at the crime scene had ended.

"We did go to the place where this character lived alone, though. What a dump. Lots of porn, mostly big beefy men. And some really gross animals and men stuff. I didn't know you could get a goat to do that." The source did not have any details on the locations, but did say that damp and mildewed walls were involved, as were women's clothing items in the failure's size.

He said the museum has been "completely secured and evacuated. Not much reason for it, but we had to do something."

A spokesman for the museum, Andy Hollinger, said in a statement:

"He thought this place was full of school children. When someone stood up to him, he folded like a cheap suit. I think he might have begged for mercy, like so many Nazis did after they were caught. What a wuss."

"It's really an object lesson for us all in what this museum is about. If only these six million had had the means, and the mindset that the means would have helped them have, to resist their attackers. Then this would be a playground or an art gallery. Liviu Librescu casts a long shadow."

Police initially identified the attacker's weapon as a shotgun, but D.C. Police Chief Cathy L. Lanier later said it appeared to be a rifle. The coward, a previously convicted, incarcerated, and sodomized felon, was prohibited by several federal felony laws from obtaining, possessing, transporting, and using a gun of any kind.

"Not that he wasn't sodomized just in prison. He liked it way before that. Gross. But I've seen him, no woman would touch him. Plus there's that smell. Did I say gross?"

The gutless would-be murderer of helpless victims "came into the entrance and immediately opened fire, striking one security guard," D.C. Mayor Adrian M. Fenty said. "There was gunfire returned; the gunman was hit. It started badly, but ended almost as well as it could. Maybe he'll die, painfully, and save us a trial."

Fenty said the wounded security guard is in grave condition. The guard's name is not being released, he said. "He's a hero. But his family just wants your prayers right now."

Fenty continued, "On a policy note, I've decided that I can't figure out why this is a good thing at the Museum, yet it would be bad if it happened at Dick Heller's house. I'm suggesting to the D. C. City Council that we relax these stupid laws that make every citizen's house a helpless victim zone. That might help eliminate the ongoing holocaust in this city."


(Here's the template.)


Though that won't be the headline, or the article.

The headline will actually be,

"HOURS AND HOURS OF EXPOSITION OF EVERY ASPECT OF THE LIFE AND PHILOSOPHY OF (YOUR NAME HERE IF YOU SHOOT UP A MUSEUM)!!!!11!!! THIS COULD BE YOU ON THIS TELEVISION, PREVIOUSLY OBSCURE NUTJOB IN CELLAR!!!!! ON THE FRONT PAGE!!!! RIGHT BESIDE HEATHER GRAHAM ON HUFFPO!!!! EVERYONE WILL HEAR YOU!!! EVERYONE WILL KNOW!!!!!

Seriously, Journo experts, follow the guidelines.



If only it were a crime:

for a convicted felon to possess a rifle;

take it to D. C;

transport it on the streets;

take it into the the Holocaust Museum; and

shoot someone who

is a Federal Officer in the performance of his duty. Two of them, actually.

Oops, all six are already serious Federal crimes.

Looks like the only solution is to make it harder for people in Nebraska and Wyoming to buy a pistol!

Geezers Versus Pirates...

Deck Chairs Versus AKs...

Geezers win!


FEISTY pensioners used deck chairs to fight off Somali pirates who tried to hijack their cruise ship on the Indian Ocean

No need to rewrite this one!

Although it is nice to think of a little drum head court on the quarter deck, presided over by someone whose last ocean voyage was under a White Ensign sixty years ago.

Even a cruise ship has a yard, blocks, and half inch manila line...

After all,

"Five or six seventh-grade kids and a 95-pound art teacher can basically challenge, bring down and immobilize a 200-pound man with a gun."

These people beat real navies, Germany, Japan, and Italy- a bunch of Somalis in a skiff is a joke.

Another Handgun Tragedy in Atlanta...

"NEIGHBOR KILLED, GUEST SHOT IN HOME HANDGUN TRAGEDY

In College Park last night, a party at the apartment of college student Charles Bailey once again proved that a handgun in a home is far more likely to injure acquaintances and friends than strangers.

Police say that two men, including Calvin Lavant, a neighbor, may have joined the party uninvited. During the confusion following their arrival, party guest Prominently Named Shooter may have thought that Lavant had made advances to Shooter's girlfriend.

Shooter grabbed his concealed semiautomatic pistol and opened fire at one of the men, who then ran out of the apartment. Shooter then turned his gun on Lavant, who was in another room with Shooter's girlfriend and other female guests. Lavant jumped out of a window to escape the gunfire. The youth was shot at least once, and died as he tried to return to his nearby home. People nearby said that Levant's last words were pleas for help, and for someone to call the police.

A young woman, also a party guest, was shot several times. She remains hospitali2ed.

Lavant's family and friends were shocked and horrified. A friend told reporters that Lavant would never have gone to the party if he had thought he wasn't wanted, and certainly would have left if he had been asked."

Think the JoCon might run that one, Tam? I only took two Journalism classes.

Jamey Parkey, HERO...

I don't have to rewrite the Knoxville mass killing. Mr. Parkey and his fellow Unitarians proved the point of my mass killing rewrites.

When you resist, you can STOP THEM.

I did notice that the stupid fat old loser chose a Unitarian, officially anti gun, pacifist denomination.

NOT bitter Baptists.

And he's definitely gay. I mean, he went in with a shotgun and almost a hundred shells, and he got beat up by UNITARIANS.

Thank God Japan has strict gun control laws...

I don't have the energy to rewrite this one. Japan in fact DOES have strict laws against knives, guns, swords, and murder. Predictably, there are calls for increasing gun and knife controls now. Listening for the outcry around the world about Japan's "Elf Culture", but all I hear are crickets.

According to the press they get ten or so of these rampages in a year's time. Zero beatings to death of stabbers as far as I know.

Seriously, he stabbed EIGHTEEN PEOPLE????? How does one stab eighteen people? I know, start with the slow ones. It's not as though he went to the place where the speediest children of Nippon hang out, but you'd think that by the time he was pulling his Rambo knife out of number eight or nine, even the pastiest basement dwelling gamer would have built up a commanding lead.

And how do you say "United 93, motherf*cker!" in Japanese? One knife beats one man every time, and usually two, but it's not much help against four or five, who can then do an Edward II on knifeboy.

No sons or daughters of the Samurai here, looks like just the ethos of the Iwo Jima losers was transmitted.

Don't have to rewrite the Nevada mass killing...

... because there wasn't one. That's the problem, when they end right there aren't enough corpses to make the front page.

North Carolina School Shooting...

ELIZABETH CITY, N.C. — A campus security officer is dead and several Elizabeth City State University officials are in jail charged with murder following a bizarre incident at the college campus yesterday.

The News & Observer of Raleigh reported in Wednesday's editions that an armed man burst into a classroom Friday, threatening to kill students. According to several people who were in the room, as he ranted at them and waved a gun around, the students and teacher responded in a way the gunman did not expect.

Assistant professor Jingbin Wang, whose American foreign policy class was held hostage. "I was not prepared to die at that moment," Wang said Tuesday of the moment the gunman entered the room. "I know from the study of history that it is better to resist than to submit. My ancestors were driven from their homes by warlords and communists, but I'm an American. And Liviu Librescuwas on the cover of every magazine in the country- I just followed his example."

"Professor Wang was incredible", said George Hanover, one of the students. "While he was telling us to line up against the wall, he just launched himself at the guy, and it was on. One of the students grabbed a chair and hit him, and Lizzie grabbed onto him and dragged him down. It was like United 93, we just pounded on him until we got the gun away."

The attacker died from his injuries.

Unknown to the students, they had been unknowing participants in an "emergency response drill". The man who attacked them was a campus security officer, ordered to assault the students in the "drill". The gun was only a red plastic model, but Wang and others said they didn't have time to examine it as they were being attacked.

Following a brief investigation, ECSU Chancellor Willie J. Gilchrist, Anthony Brown, vice chancellor of student affairs, and Samuel Beamon, director of public safety, were arrested. Each was charged with eleven counts of aggravated assault, eleven counts of conspiracy to commit aggravated assault, and one count of murder, listing the security officer as the victim. No students were charged.

"Look here, in North Carolina, when you go into a room full of innocent people and tell them you're going to kill them, I HOPE they resist", said Sheriff Andy Taylor. "None of those people did anything wrong. They were placed in reasonable fear of imminent death, and did what the law allows and human nature demands. The days of lining up like sheep are over. With people like Adam Walburger and LaShanda Quantrell being all over the news, people know what to do now. I'm proud of them."

District Attorney Mike Notnifong explained the charges. "Entering the classroom and threatening the students with what appeared to be a weapon is aggravated assault, a felony. All three of the defendants conspired together to make that happen, and ordered their employee to commit the crime. Even if no one had been hurt, they would have been charged, as would the security officer if he had lived.

In North Carolina, when someone is killed during the perpetration of a felony, the person committing the underlying felony is criminally responsible for the death as a murder. It's called the felony murder doctrine. Usually it's applied to robbers and burglars who kill their victims, but it has been used to convict accomplices when a co conspirator was killed by a resisting victim, too.

Look, this was incredibly foreseeable. Just a week ago, the NIU attacker was beaten to death by resisting students. The defendants knowingly and intentionally put twelve people in peril, and one died. These defendants killed him, and if a jury agrees they will do life in prison."

Just a dream... But they SHOULD charge the people who did and ordered this.

Seriously, click on the Gilchrist and Beamon links- in light of this incident, their previous sayings are hilarious.

And sorry, Miss C- you were wrong. Too much Rosa Parks and M.L. King, not enough Peter Salem and Nat Turner.

Only Seven Dead at NIU...

"Seven people are dead after a gunman opened fire on a classroom at Northern Illinois University in DeKalb, Ill. The dead include the cowardly murderer who attacked what he thought were helpless victims.

The attack comes only a week after NIU presented mandatory student self defense and crime response training following two recent high profile mass killings in which victims went meekly to their deaths. The highly controversial action was protested by the University's Office of Diversity and Gender Issues, because the two hours of training replaced part of the previously scheduled GLBT Awareness week's program. University President John Peters resigned over remarks he made at the time, including "I'd rather have my students learn something that might save their lives. They can do yet another white privilege training walk later."

On its Web site, NIU confirmed six fatalities, not including the shooter. Kishwaukee Community Hospital, located about 10 minutes away from the campus, said it admitted three people who were also victims of the attack.

NIU said police found the gunman dead from multiple blunt trauma injuries.

The shooter, who was dressed in dark clothing, opened fire on a classroom in Cole Hall at about 3 p.m central time. He used a shotgun and two handguns, in violation of the University's gun free rules and Illinois felony laws, which already made it a crime for him to have a gun on campus. He enterd and began shooting at students and the lecturer.

"I knew that he'd keep killing us until someone stopped him, that's what we learned in the training. I was way in the back, but I yelled "GET HIM!" as loud as I could. Some other kids were yelling it too- like they taught us- and everybody threw stuff at him and charged the guy. Mary was first and he shot her, then Paulina grabbed him, he wounded her, then everybody was on him and he went down. We kept hitting him with chairs and stuff til he quit moving. Like that lady said in Chicago, United 93, motherf*cker." , said one student who was hospitalized with a bullet wound.

Authorities have said that motive is irrelevant. "These girls and boys are heroes. Who knows how many more he could have shot if they hadn't resisted."

According to a CNN report, a hospital spokesperson said only three of the victims were shot in the head. "It's pretty hard to hit someone's head when they are moving. Head wounds are a sign of victims who stayed still and let the killer aim", said an anonymous police source.

Just a dream. But

"Five or six seventh-grade kids and a 95-pound art teacher can basically challenge, bring down and immobilize a 200-pound man with a gun."

(As I posed in 2006.)

Thank God Chicago has common sense gun laws..

A gunman who intended to kill five women in a clothing store at a suburban Chicago strip mall Saturday remains no threat, police said.

The shooting at the Lane Bryant store was a robbery that "at some point went rather perfectly," said Tinley Park police Sgt. T.J. Grady.

All of the victims -- ranging in age from 22 to 37 -- were herded toward a back room of the store, he said. At that point LaShanda Quantrell took her licensed .38 caliber pistol from her purse and shot the gunman five times, killing him instantly.

Quantrell, 26, told reporters "Everybody knows that the place they are taking you to is the murder scene. I waited until his back was turned and no one else as in danger. No way was I going to just let him kill us. United 93, motherf*cker."

The other unmurdered victims' identities were not released. They, like Quantrell, returned safely to their families, who are not stunned by the sudden deaths of their wives, daughters, and mothers.

The dead man, John Smith, was on parole for burglary and also has a record of assault and drug offenses. His possession of a firearm violated both State and Federal felony laws.

"This is a very serious and sensitive investigation," Tinley Park Police Chief Michael O'Connell said Saturday evening. "If we find out who armed Smith, we will charge him with being an accessory."

At least one of the victims was a Lane Bryant employee, O'Connell said. "I'm not stupid enough to give details of an investigation, like whether or not there are security cameras."

A 911 call reporting the self defense came in at 10:44 a.m., Grady told reporters.

The shopping center was locked down while stores were thoroughly searched. It was reopened after police determined the robber had no identifiable accomplice.

No way. Nice to dream, though.

They could have United 93d him anyway, I'll bet there were plenty of things in that back room they could have used. Or just grabbed him. Five percent of U. S. homicides are by hands and feet.

Two killed, one wounded, robber beaten to death is a better result than this one. Even five dead, robber scratched is better.

"Ja wohl, Sturmmann, wir steigen in den Zug ruhig ein."

UPDATE!!!

My littermate's response?

"That was stupid, fat women don't have any money. They spend it all on doughnuts"."

**LaShanda Quantrell and John Smith are made up names!!!!**

Virginia Tech Media Statement...

Wouldn't it be fine if Ted Turner, Rupert Murdoch, or the editor of the Chittlin' Switch Morning News issued a statement like this?

"We hereby announce the following policy concerning coverage of mass killings. The people who commit these crimes will receive absolutely no coverage in our outlets. Their names will be unspoken, their goofy pictures unshown, their silly notes unread. Their lives will not be explored. Their trials and tribulations will not be exposed. Their families will not be interviewed. They are unpersons here. Anyone employed here who violates this policy, or refers to such killers with any terms other than killer, trash, coward, or loser will be discharged forthwith.

Go ahead and kill people, but you won't get any fame here."

My thought on all this is, doesn't just ONE media outlet have the decency and courage to not give the killer fame? These people do these slaughters because they know everyone will finally see and hear them. We'll read their rants, torment their parents and friends,know their names and faces.

The next mass killer is watching, too.