Cintra Wilson goes to Beretta...

The Critical Shopper goes to Beretta's in the City.

Have to add her and her contributors to the Roll of the Blog, too much good stuff all at once.

The Black Snob...

"Hi. My name is Danielle Belton and I am an official, 100 %, born n' raised American black woman. I popped out of my Mama's womb black. I'm gonna die black. I'm the descendant of slaves and their masters. I say this to let you know that this is the authentic view of one solitary natural born Negro. (Not all, so don't get it twisted.) And this is my message to non-Negroes about a troublesome word so powerful that it makes pretty white girls cry.

So listen close to what I'm about to say..."

Cintra Wilson has a new contributor, Danielle Bolton. Here's her take on the awesome power of the n word. . Well worth a read, and it isn't on her own blog, The Black Snob.

You have to die from something,

"You have to die from something, and it may as well be from heroism.

Lord Anson lost 1672 out of 1854. And all of Scott's people perished.

Animus longa, vita brevis.

The deadly N wrd..

So, Rkns hs wthdrn th ftly ofnsv lcns plts. Lcky thrs stl tm t stp "spk" nd "spd". Bt wt abt th 999 crs wth "dky" n thm? O th ofndns!

I exp "ofy" wl nt b cmplnd abt, nd tht "heb" wsn't.

Nd mnwl, I hv t b ofnd b ths rcl slr vry tm I ps a frwy ext.

UPDT!

Cntra Wlson hs a nw cntrbtr, Dnil Bltn. Hr's hr tk n th awsm pwr f th n wrd. Wl wth a rd, t's nt n hr blg, Th Blk Snb.

Jamey Parkey, HERO...

I don't have to rewrite the Knoxville mass killing. Mr. Parkey and his fellow Unitarians proved the point of my mass killing rewrites.

When you resist, you can STOP THEM.

I did notice that the stupid fat old loser chose a Unitarian, officially anti gun, pacifist denomination.

NOT bitter Baptists.

And he's definitely gay. I mean, he went in with a shotgun and almost a hundred shells, and he got beat up by UNITARIANS.

My Day Wife is COLD...

I had a telephone call from a woman who had her car stolen. It was recovered yesterday. Since she couldn't be reached, the police had it towed to an impound lot, as is the usual procedure.

There's a $150 charge for the owner to get the car back in these cases. (Seems wrong to me, but the City won't pay the private tow truck drivers and after all, it is the owner's car that's being protected, not mine.) The owner wanted to have the defendant pay the fee, but it's a little early in the process for that. Of course if he had $150 he'd be out on bail, he wouldn't waste it on restitution.

I explained all that, and she hung up.

A few minutes later I came back into the office and I heard my day wife on the telephone half way through the same explanation, obviously to the same upset citizen. As I had done, I told her that it seemed unfair to me, and that if convicted the thief would be ordered to pay the fee as restitution.

She then explained, as I had not, that an order and actual payment were two different things, and that more often than not restitution was never paid.

Then she was silent, as the owner spoke for a minute. And then my day wife said.

"Well, I guess that's why they call it victim."

I thought I was the cold one!


I remarked on it later, and she said, "I said with a smile!"

"It wasn't a web cam, she can't see through the wire."

"You know what I meant. If bad things didn't happen to victims, they wouldn't come to court."

Cold.

John Edwards and his Lady Friend...

So all my reader knows that I honestly trust the National Enquirer when it asserts facts, since I've never had a Gell-Mann Effect experience with it.



And everyone knows their reporter caught Sen. Edwards and his lady friend .



But what I love are the file pictures they used to illustrate the article. Her expression, and shirt, are perfect!



It's like she's looking at him, and saying

"I took HIM home? Damn, I ain't never drinkin' agin."

Whoa! My U. S. Senator just called me!

No fooling, it's a telephone call town meeting! This is pretty amazing, a chance to question a Senator live!

I see him occasionally, but the telephone doesn't know that!

So far, people are asking for the government to reduce obesity, stop paying for ethanol, give my son five years to start paying back his medical school loan, use the magic Swiss fuel he thinks he heard about, things like that.

Hitler and Stalin's tanks for sale...

In case you're afraid of carry permit holders, here you go. I know the sale's over, but there are more coming.

But if you want a nice Spitfire, you'll have to wait until September. At least you can fly it home a lot faster than you can drive that T34.

Carry Permit Holders are More Powerful than Bulldozers...

Front end loaders, actually.

And shouldn't that be Digro-American?

I like waking up...

and getting all ready to go to work before I remember it's Saturday. It's like a surprise day off.

The War Nerd and the Exile are back!

And here's a story about giving a car as a sweepstake prize in murderer Lenin's memorial!

Sometimes everyone is having a bad day...

"Trespassing" boys, jackass with a gun, drunk driver, and a nurse wasted on meth, beer, and marijuana.

"That's the first I've heard of that. Man, that really blows my mind right there."

Here's something cheerful then...

I have a weakness for personal, crazy, just because it makes me feel good art.

So go, Matt Harding!

And Stride Gum!



Thank you, rat of musk!

And YouTube sends me to another, and I'd never heard of Regina Spektor!

It's always Rwanda somewhere...

Saving these people would be so easy.

But they are poor dark people who don't have anything to sell us, and lack PR skills.

Hundreds of hours about Tim Russert, but not five minutes for Joshua Bakacheza. (Not for the squeamish.)

Quotes of the evening...

Here are some things I never thought I'd say or hear at a party...

"You can't sleep with pride forever".

"It's not bestiality if only animals are involved."

"How are libertarians ever going to attract politicians who can actually win elections? It's like a convent trying to attract cheerleaders, they don't have anything the target demographic wants."

And this entire exchange between Others and Staghounds, following another's use of the term "midget porn"-

O-Can they even have sex?

S. Of course, where do you think little midgets come from?

O. As opposed to big midgets.

S. I meant baby midgets.

O. And you're not supposed to call them midgets, either.

S. Oh yes, because otherwise they wouldn't know.

A

Hunt scum!

You are really a dork if you are...

You are really a dork if you are having a fight on the internet about the hirings and firings of weather talking heads on the stupidity machine.

I'll bet that Messr.s Dandy, Lawson, Greer, and Weeks between them couldn't name all their State and Federal legislators.

Perverted Roommate...

I just finished another search warrant on some pervert who was taking secret pictures of his roommate through the wall when she washed and dressed.

Instead of putting this character on probation (which is silly), the court ought to order him to submit to some naked photographing. And then putting the pictures on the web.

Sheesh.

Hilarious, "Walk of No Shame"

I don't have television, so I missed this.

Zimbabwe refuses to vote...

Last election, there were all day lines at every polling statiom. Today, for the "runoff"...

Now everybody will have a gun!!!

The Mayor of a city where honest people are disarmed by law said yesterday in response to Heller-

“Does this lead to everyone having a gun in our society?”

Yes, it does.

Just like the First Amendment has lead to everyone having a newspaper subscription, a church membership, and a protest sign.

Or, if you read the Supreme Court 1A cases, p*rn, a burning flag, snakes to handle, and a brown shirt they wore in Skokie.

These people are JPFN**.

We've heard it before.

You see, Mr. Mayor, in America, there are, shockingly, things that are neither prohibited nor mandatory.

We've heard it before though. I'm sure your Great Grandfather said "Now the niggers will be living next door to me!"


** "Just Plain F*cking Nuts". A term a psychiatrist I know often uses. From page 317 of the DSM-IV, I think.

Send Barack your baby!

Be sure to check the FAQs!

Your address is a P.O. box. Is that safe?


Don’t worry, the mailman will not put your baby in the P.O. box itself. There is a separate room in the post office for packages, and one of Barack’s assistants picks babies up from there at 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. every weekday.

Doctor Ossian Sweet smiles...

Every American school child knows this house:



They ought to know this one too. Maybe they ought to know it better.



On November 5, 1917, millions of Americans woke up to find that no State, City, or County could use its power to make black folks live in a particular location. The U. S. Supreme Court read the Constitution.


On May 17, 1954, millions of Americans woke up to find that no State, City, or County could use its power to make black children go to segregated schools. The U. S. Supreme Court read the Constitution.

And today, the U. S. Supreme Court told every State, City, and County that it couldn't use its power to force people- specifically, lakhs of black people in Washington, D.C.- to remain unarmed and helpless in their own homes.

If there are ghosts, I think those of the Sweet family , who will always haunt that little house, are smiling.

I was almost gagged!

And not in the fun way, either.

Defence lawyer's criminal was upset that the news sellers described his customer's actions based on the police report, so he filed a "Motion for Gag Order" to command me, the police officer, and the victim not to talk to the press.

My response was that none of us had talked to the press, we didn't intend to, but the Court was welcome to order us not to do what we intended not doing.

Based on that, he didn't issue an order.

I understand that the other Judges and defence lawyers are upset, feeling that the Judge should have issued an order that I not speak to anyone, ever, about anything. Missed opportunities.

And one did not have the chance to ask,

"Ball or Bit? Will the Court order Miss X from the clerk's office to put it in?"

Snarky fashion shop reviewer Cintra Wilson, courtesy of Ann Coulter...

Who would think that Ann Coulter would tell me about an hilarious boulevardier lefty like Cintra Wilson?

Her regular job seems to be reviewing clothing stores for the New York Times. Not the ones at the mall, but Prada and Louboutin:

The Pigalle is not for wearing, but it is the most eloquent visual argument against capitalism since the 19th-century cotton mill.

Back when I was working, I often went into high end stores in the city. It was fun and free amusement, good for her figuring out how to make a buck off it.

Who would have thought that a woman named after an embarrassing nineteenth century treaty would make me laugh?

Bonus giant dismembered lobster exoskeleton picture!



Uh oh, I'll bet I'm Google #1 for dismembered lobster exoskeleton...

Victoria's Secret Thong Expert Testimony...

Snippets from my (very slim and VS customer) friend K's remarks about the Victoria's Secret thong eye injury lawsuit:

K: "I wish I had thought of that. I could buy a pair two sizes too small...

No wait, no I couldn't. They don't make XXXXS."



When I think of how close I wish I had come to blindness...

A truly wonderful piece about policing...

Just read it. Not a lot of laughs.


Oddly enough, this happened to be playing when I read the piece above. Pretty good soundtrack:

World's largest orgy! NYC is paying $2000 a month for rural pasture board!

NYC is paying $2000 a month for rural pasture board! Seriously! $2,500,000/10/12!

Looks as though Ms. Nanninga, Detective DePamphilis, and every single New York City taxpayer got screwed on this one. Maybe they should ship them to Moscow. Or I'll buy a farm in the Millbrook country.

British pistol design thoughts...

In a discussion in comments at a Tam, post, the Empress of Snark quoted someone as saying,

"...most British handguns looked like they had been designed by someone who had not only never held a handgun before, but didn't like them very much, either.

I had the audacity to respond,

"The "never held one" comment is clever, but wrong, if you've ever actually used one yourself. Until the mid 20th century, British handguns were the best, or as good as the best, personal self defense tools available.

(Given the ammunition and state of reliability gunsmithing the time.)

Pick a date between 1800 and the end of the first German war, and a pistol from Britain would probably be your first or as good as your first choice.

Not surprising, British officers were doing a lot of defending themselves during that period and they shared their experiences.

Most people don't know it, but Britain produced almost all the "how to" fighting handgun literature in the 19th century, too. Obvious, really- those frontier subalterns and deputy collectors were both literate and literary.

Those Americans who were pistol fighting in the same period didn't much run to letters, magazine articles, and books."

Since gun nuts like pointless controversy, I thought I'd put it up here in case any one wants to discuss it.

Wooden computers! Wooden Radiators! Slinky Radiators!

Design day here at Kennels...

These people overestimated the demand for a wooden desktop comp.

Wooden laptop!

Plastic laptop? Put it in this wooden case.

Plug it into this big old wooden stupidity machine.

Keep warm with a wooden radiator.

And, the coolest, a radiator shaped like a Slinky. With bonus inquisitive visitor alert feature!

Global cooling causes hot pokers in the ass...

Global warming may be bad, but...

"The dispossessed King Edward II was killed by a red-hot iron poker shoved up his anus. This savagery partly reflected hostility on the part of the Church and other opinion-makers to the king's homosexuality and his favoritism toward his young French male lover, but it also reflected the general malaise, anger, and pessimism of the new age of global cooling."

Thank God Japan has strict gun control laws...

I don't have the energy to rewrite this one. Japan in fact DOES have strict laws against knives, guns, swords, and murder. Predictably, there are calls for increasing gun and knife controls now. Listening for the outcry around the world about Japan's "Elf Culture", but all I hear are crickets.

According to the press they get ten or so of these rampages in a year's time. Zero beatings to death of stabbers as far as I know.

Seriously, he stabbed EIGHTEEN PEOPLE????? How does one stab eighteen people? I know, start with the slow ones. It's not as though he went to the place where the speediest children of Nippon hang out, but you'd think that by the time he was pulling his Rambo knife out of number eight or nine, even the pastiest basement dwelling gamer would have built up a commanding lead.

And how do you say "United 93, motherf*cker!" in Japanese? One knife beats one man every time, and usually two, but it's not much help against four or five, who can then do an Edward II on knifeboy.

No sons or daughters of the Samurai here, looks like just the ethos of the Iwo Jima losers was transmitted.

Turkish Prosecutor and Court are heroes!

Abdurrahman Yalçınkaya's name should be a household word.

For those of my reader who doesn't know, the Turkish Constitutional Court just found that allowing women to wear a head scarf on State University Property is unconstitutionally inconsistent with the secular state, and the APK is under indictment.

Plenty of people safe in the West think, or pretend to think, that this is an issue of religious freedom. It's not, dress means something .

The hijab is a tool of oppression and intimidation, because it marks and separates those who submit to the religion and those who don't.

"So, Mumtaz, where is your hijab today?"

"I don't know who she is, but we'd better not be seen talking to her. My brothers would kick my ass."

"Mrs. Ercek gave me a C because I wear hijab. That's why Faizulla got an A.

"I know your parents back in the village, do they know that you are not wearing hijab?"

"Godless whore."

Then again, some people understand just fine.

Being free is more important than sucking up to the okiphobic EU bureaucrats.

How do you get to the Olympics?

Take the Fuxing Road!

Not far from Fuxingmen Outer Street. If you're interested in that sort of thing.

(Expect a quick rename if this gets well known.)

Thank God Britain Has Strict Gun Control Laws...

No one could make this up, I'm sorry she suffered, and I hate murder. But better her than someone who didn't do her damnedest to put people at the mercy of the meanest and strongest. Talk about reaping what one sows.

I wonder if her last thoughts were "I'm so glad I don't have a gun!"?

I particularly like the use of the term "unrelated" used to refer to the attack on the railroad employee. If the same person did both things, they are pretty related!

Don't have to rewrite the Nevada mass killing...

... because there wasn't one. That's the problem, when they end right there aren't enough corpses to make the front page.

The Tackiest Advert I've Ever Seen...

Marie Digby will become very familiar to my neighbours...

Don't worry, Emmy- you're still on.

Sex with 1000 cars ?

Not only is he a tramp, he's a pervert. I mean, a Ford Ranger?


Update!

My Friend K- "But how does he satisfy the cars?

S- "As though he cares, he is a man after all."

The Muskrat is HILARIOUS...

Following up on a link from Stuff White People Like, I found the Muskrat.

Today at breakfast, we learned from the Tween that her classmates and she are pairing up to raise baby eggs. By the time her name came up, they were apparently out of boys, so she and a friend are playing sisters who are adopting, which, as she pointed out, was a much better scenario than getting stuck with Harrison, the class clown (who never grew out of the glue eating phase), with whom her friend Anna is stuck.

Tween: “Anna has already said they’re getting divorced as soon as the exercise begins next week.”

Me: “But what about the egg?”

Tween: “Dad, it’s an egg!”

Me: “An egg who’s going to feel abandoned when Mommy and Daddy don’t love each other any more.

An egg who starts looking down the aisle towards condiments to smoke and sudafed to turn into meth on its way to frying like those ‘brain on drugs’ ads…

An egg who starts hooking up with other eggs in its carton to fill the love void left by its absent dad…”

Welcome to the Blog Roll.

Sen. Obama says "Lay Off My Wife"...

"...they should be careful because that I find unacceptable, the notion that you start attacking my wife or my family."

Wooooo.

This is the United State of America, jackass. You don't get to decide what you will accept.

It's a crime for someone in authority to use his power to prevent or deter citizens from exercising their rights. For a U. S. Senator to tell any one exercising his free speech rights that "they better be careful" is just as wrong as some Mississippi Sheriff telling the NAACP that they "better be careful" about registering voters, or a public school teacher telling his class that they "better be careful" about which church they go to.

A Senator should know that, just as a President should. I was just as angry when President Bush and Senator McCain told the Swift Boat veterans they shouldn't speak, but at least they didn't tell them to "be careful".

I suppose it's the Chicago way, "You got a nice little business here. Better be careful how you vote in the State Senate race, wouldn't want to have licensing problems..."

I am (not) very surprised that a reporter, supposed guardian of the First Amendment, didn't say,

"Hold up, there, Senator. "Better be careful"? Should they expect IRS audits? Will you vote against government programs in Tennessee if they don't exercise free speech the way you like?"

Here's what a Senator SHOULD say. "This is the United States of America. People will say all sorts of things in political life, they have a right to. I am not going to say that anything is "off limits", because I wouldn't want to live in a country where that sort of thing passed an official's lips. The public should be able to hear anyone speak, and judge ideas on their merits."

And if your campaign is flying her around to tell us how to vote, she's you, pal. What she says, you say.

If you don't want her using her brilliance to say what she really thinks about her country, or if she's too stupid to use the language clearly, give her a script or tell her to shut up.

And calling a playing of her words an "attack" doesn't make it one. Not a single person on that video, except "your wife" (When did she stop having a name?), said anything other than good things about our country.

Thank you for the great publicity! The MSM didn't do much with her crack, but you've put this pitiful homemade YouTube all over the front pages. Imagine what a studio can do with the idea and some better spoken people.

Mohammed Altar Piece Photoshops...

The Ro'P is very tough on cartoons, wood carvings, and helpless things generally. The latest threat is to tear up the Dendermonde pulpit.

Of course, immediately there is a photoshop site to inflame them further.

California Church Shooting Rewrite...

HEROIC BYSTANDERS HERNANDEZ AND CLANCY STOP MASS KILLING

Carolina Hernandez and Stephen Clancy bravely stopped a man who shot three people at a Los Angeles Church festival Saturday. The two heroic festival-goers grabbed the would be killer and held him for police, authorities and a church official said.

Witnesses described a chaotic scene, with people screaming and running for the exit after gunfire rang out on a grassy field where the festival was being set up at the St. John Baptist de la Salle Roman Catholic parish. But Hernandez and Clancy didn't panic. Ms. Hernandez, an off duty Burbank police officer, says that the credit should go to Clancy, who is a grocery store employee.

"It's my duty to protect people, and I'm trained in how to do it. But Mr. Clancy isn't- he just came out of nowhere. It's just an accident that I was nearby too. We might have had another Stockton McDonald's but for this man. I told him the BPD is hiring!"

"What, I was going to run away and let him shoot someone else? Or me, in the back while I was running? No way, I've thought about this when I've heard about these things. United 93!"

The coward, whose name and details will never be published in this newspaper, was arrested on suspicion of attempted murder, said Los Angeles Police Officer Ana Aguirre. He was held in Van Nuys jail in lieu of $1.5 million bail.

The gutless loser made comments to a KNX-AM reporter before being taken to jail. KNAX has also refused to release his comments. Station Management cited their corporate policy to do nothing that would feed the ego of, or provide a platform for, the pathetic trash who would do this sort of crime."

Jeff Sempelsz, a church volunteer was setting up a prize booth when the shooting started.

"It sounded like balloons popping," he said. "I didn't know what it was but I could see the rifle in his hand."

(Link to AP story not provided, in conformity with Staghounds blog policy.

Those aren't the bystanders' real names. Why? BECAUSE THE NEWS MEDIA IS NOT TALKING THEM UP!!!! No, the AP gives us the criminal's name and thoughts, but God forbid they should stress the actions of the people who held the man.

Thank Goodness Britain Has VERY STRICT Gun Control!

Mainly applied to the police. Looks as though this loser was cranking off his gauge in downtown London for five hours before they got permission to stop him.

Street Security Theatre...

Scotland Yard today announced a new operation to curb knife crime in London.

Police are to set up mobile airport-style metal detectors on the streets to carry out searches for weapons.

"We're the only ones..."

Who can be trusted to keep a secret.

"An Assessment that house prices will fall by up to 10 per cent this year was laid bare today by a blunder.

The secret official verdict was unwittingly disclosed when Housing Minister Caroline Flint strolled into this morning's weekly Cabinet meeting carrying an armful of documents.

Clearly visible on top of her bundle of papers was a printed briefing paper on the state of the property market which said that "at best" prices will tumble this year by five to 10 per cent. It came as inflation jumped to three per cent, way above forecasts."

Quote of the day...

"...that liberal instinct which is so dear to historians that they lay it out like a guideline through the unmapped forests of prejudice and self-interest as though this line, and not the forest, is our history."

Paul Scott, via John Derbyshire.

Whoa! Horse board is $200 in downtown Moscow!

...Fetisova is a member of the tribe of enthusiasts particular to the Soviet Union. People like her are a throwback to back before money eclipsed everything else in Moscow, and are always a pleasure to meet. She looks after 7 horses that live in a clean and very modest stable they share with a dog and a cat. Amazingly, the horses’ owners pay just 200 dollars a month to keep a horse there. That includes food, bathing, exercise, the works, all at prices that most renters in Moscow haven’t seen in years...

Seems like Russian racing is something time forgot.

You know, the largest country on earth, with scores of miles between paved roads even, is so far entirely devoid of a pack of hounds...

Chihuahua Defeats Coyote!

"Bentley, a 2-year old Chihuahua owned by Jessica Ganchou of Bethlehem, is luckly to be alive after he was mauled and nearly killed by a coyote earlier this year. (Jim Shannon / RA)

Bentley the longhaired Chihuahua has a second chance at life thanks to a 9-volt battery, a loving owner and two skilled veterinarians who put him back together after he was attacked by a coyote.

The lap dog with the golden coat and diminutive body was romping behind his owner’s Bethlehem house at dusk Jan. 19 when a coyote snatched him. The coyote’s teeth pierced the dog’s flesh and clamped down as it headed for the edge of the yard.

Technology intervened. Bentley, who was wearing a battery-powered collar tuned to an electric fence in the yard, got an electrical shock as the coyote stepped over the metal wire. The charge zapped the coyote, which dropped Bentley and skulked away.

The little dog was lucky. Wildlife experts and veterinarians across Connecticut say the number of coyote attacks on pets, particularly small dogs like Bentley that appear as prey, has increased in recent years. Suburban sprawl is considered the biggest factor; homes built near hills and streams are in natural coyote habitat. Few disagree coyotes, which resemble small German shepherds, have become more aggressive, and are losing their innate fear of humans, as evidenced by the 2006 attack on two Washington, Conn., residents.

“The bottom line is coyotes are expanding into populated areas and perhaps into areas where pet owners are totally unsuspecting,” said Chris Vann, a wildlife biologist with the state Department of Environmental Protection. “They will protect their territories. If it can happen in the backyards of West Hartford and East Hartford, more populated areas, it can really happen anywhere.”

Don't fool with those electric Chihuahuas! Plus, what a great name for a news paper.

Found this article when I was looking at the Shocking! Southern California coyote "attacks".

No, they were coyote feedings . Your dog or child is just a meal, people.

The Chihuahua was in WATERBURY, and the Chicago animal control people catch more coyotes than our hunt does.

Detroit, too.