The Japanese Way of Capital Punishment...

This BBC article about the recent execution of two murderers gave me a few thoughts.

"Ms Chiba (the Justice Minister and an opponent of the death penalty) said that as justice minister she believed it was her duty to witness the executions in person."

Good. I wonder if she considers it her duty to go to homicide scenes, autopsies, and notification of families of murder victims?

"Prisoners are not told when they will be executed and their relatives are told only after the sentence has been carried out."

Exactly like the people they killed. Seems fair.

(Sorry, up all night on a murder.)

I write like Jack London...

For serious- computer analysis proves it!

I write like
Jack London

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

And,

I write like
Stephen King

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

I write like
Dan Brown

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

I write like
Jack London

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

(again!)

I write like
Ursula K. Le Guin

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

I write like
Chuck Palahniuk

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

I write like
Vladimir Nabokov

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

I write like
Mario Puzo

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

So where are the checks?

The software is pretty amusing, especially if it hasn't heard of the actual author whose entire story one enters. It thinks James Joyce wrote The Phantom Rickshaw, Edgar Allan Poe is responsible for The Open Window, and that Esmé is an Artur Conan Doyle product.

Whereas it attributes Conan Doyle's Brigadier Gerard stories to Mr. Kipling.

Enjoy

Then again, I Don't See a Fulbright Coming Here...

"We enjoy being able to release our trophies back into the woods for another day when they are bigger, badder and even more pissed off."

And there's a reason!

Thanks, of all places, Samizdata.

Eagles, Foxes, Horses, Mongolia, a Woman, and Your Taxes...

...and spend the next ten months with a horse and golden eagle pursuing fox across the lonely Altai mountains...

THIS is the way to spend my tax money!

I thought I'd blogrolled Lauren years ago, sorry. Truly amazing life as art as life.

So, via Ann Coulter, a fun little movie...

Yes, that Ann Coulter. Go figure.

It has just about everything:

Pretty music, and a snappy song.

Bonus behind the scenes look at a holy place.

Two profoundly gorgeous dancers.

Someone than whom I dance better. (A very rare thing indeed)

AND, it looks like everyone connected with it had a good time every minute.

Thank you for making me smile and hum all day!



Next time I'm in London, drinks and dinner for Leanne Hainsby and Shelina Somani.

Hey, I can daydream too.

PS, Joe Stilgoe gets it from his father, here's an earworm for you:

No one I've seen talk about McDonald has said...

THANK YOU GEORGE W BUSH!!!!!

THIS is why I voted for him twice.

If You Are Going To Rant About Your Expertise,

don't foul up in the actual rant itself.

Tam noticed the pathetic arrogance about nothing, but not the most delicious work of trained expert award winning journalist (tm) Ruben Navarrette:

"Kutcher was talking about anyone who subscribes to the belief that their views and opinions are just as valuable as the views and opinions of media professionals who have the benefit of editors, producers, fact checkers and years of experience. Put another way, this tribe believes that the views and opinions of columnists, radio talk show hosts, television commentators and other pundits are no more valuable than what you pick up from Twitter, Facebook or the scores of faceless individuals who blog feverishly. "

might have been more effective if it hadn't followed

"...Kutcher– whose has more than 5 million followers..."


Here's the screenshot, for after Mr. Integrity hides his mistake.



UPDATE:

Ruben Navarrette integrity check! As of 6-18-11AM EDT,

31 still unnoticed by all those layers and layers of expertise,

106 down the memory hole.

Now 75 wrong and 156 right- clearly the article was sent out wrong and about half the experts caught the mistake. Gell-Mann effect: if they get spelling wrong, what unobvious errors are there?

"Trained newspaper journalists- we foul up less than half the time!"

Silly Negro, Don't You Understand How It Works...

Yesterday, the lead Yahoo news article headline was was about how "insiders" had won all the primaries, by rebranding themselves as "outsiders"- followed by a discussion of one D who should have had a walkover, but barely won by using the "underdog" idea. The rest of the article was about Tea Party candidates and Palin endorsees winning.

But I remembered South Carolina.

I fumed at this racist, tell-you-what-to-think article
when I read it months ago:

The candidate, a 32-year-old unemployed black Army veteran named Alvin Greene, walked into the state Democratic Party headquarters in March with a personal check for $10,400. He said he wanted to become South Carolina’s U.S. senator.

Needless to say, Democratic Party Chairwoman Carol Fowler was a bit surprised...

“It’s sad to see an unemployed veteran be so naïve as to believe that using his savings to file for office is the best use of his money,” Fowler says.

He spent less than $5000 on his campaign, no media appearances, no debates. And HA, HA, HA.

You would think his victory would be the banner national headline.

Of course, the article is very negative, as you'd expect. An unapproved Negro? How dare he, and so naive!

I would bet money that his positions are NOT traditional national Democratic, too.

I will be laughing all day.

World Collapse Explained...

This is some funny truth in this three minute youtube. (Link fixed now, duh.)

Especially the last ten seconds.

Then, of course, you want to cry.

And there is this one, and this. I'm choking with laughter.

Clarke and Dawe.

They were on the whole oil spill problem years ago.



Thanks, Samizdata!

One Of My Very Favorite Hunting Stories...

Someone asked me that question again today. I have maybe five pieces of short hunting literature that really speak to and for me, and this is one of them.

Click on each page to make it big enough to read conveniently:

One reason I like this is that it's very evocative of some early days in my own hunting life. I never went out as young as the narrator of this story, or with family. But the scene and style put me right back in the old Fairfield days. Up at four, loading Tango into the trailer and chugging up to Newtown in that old Matador, getting in first of all in the chill black New England dark. Trying like crazy to be where Rhoda wanted me to be, when she wanted me there, doing what she wanted me to do. Scampering over those big Yankee stone walls in the dawn, and spending the day in a wild blur.

There's cable now, and lots of channels to ghost.

All the other things going on in my life then, all the other dawn experiences- having grown up responsibilities, living far away from home in a very different place, having seriously important friends, happily drowning in a huge (and I then had reason to believe) somewhat reciprocated crush. And doing all those things- having all those successes- as nobody, from nowhere.

Good times. I'm glad I didn't break my neck, but if I had, it would have been with a big old smile.


I'm sorry, Fox. But thanks.

A gentleman...

lends his umbrella to a lady.

Get wet, trash.

Thank You, Secret Dead...

Justice/Civil War Brevet Colonel Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr:

"I shall go out to Arlington tomorrow, Memorial Day, and visit the gravestone with my name and my wife's on it, and be stirred by the military music, and, instead of bothering about the Unknown Soldier shall go to another stone that tells beneath it are the bones of, I don't remember the number but two or three thousand and odd, once soldiers gathered from the Virginia fields after the Civil War. I heard a woman say there once,

'They gave their all. They gave their very names.'"


Of course, that lady was wrong- their names exist, on muster rolls, monuments, letters, books, and family Bibles.

But those without marked graves aren't the secret veterans I'm talking about today.

In the United States, peacetime military service- especially enlisted service- has been a social disgrace among big swathes of the population, especially those worried about their appearance of gentility. For some it still is. The ranks were full of foreigners, criminals, drunks, and other wrecks of society. "Join or jail" was not an exaggeration.

Which meant that the services were full of people hiding out. The services were a refuge for the hunted. Not just those fleeing warrants, but failed family providers, black sheep, unintentional fathers, and disappointing sons.

In those days before fingerprints, the army and navy didn't care what name you chose. The whole thing was a foreign legion. Thousands of men- ashamed of something, sometimes most of simply being in uniform- enlisted and served under false names. Some finished their hitches and resumed their original lives. Some took advantage of the fresh start to live better lives. Some went just as awry as they did the first time.

Some were killed. They sleep forever under aliases borrowed from friends, books, or whisky labels and saloon signs.

Which brings me to this First World War honor roll tablet. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of them all over the country on court houses, schools, churches, factories, and purpose built monuments.

But none are like this one. It doesn't have a single name on it:



It's in the central rotunda of Eastern State Penitentiary, in Philadelphia. (Thank you, BLC!)

No one but convicts and guards was ever supposed to see it. It's not a proclamation, it's a memorial- reminding them the dead, the noble levelling of sacrifice, the power of redemption and the meaning of a new chance.

Thank you, secret dead. This is your day too.

Trash Bloomberg says...

"I want to make clear we will not tolerate bias or backlash against Pakistani or Muslim New Yorkers."

Nor Nazis, Zombies, the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man, or any other imaginary thing!

"Bomb Scare"? "Attempt"?

NO!!! It was a COMPLETED BOMBING.

He MADE THE BOMB.

He PLACED IT AT HIS CHOSEN TARGET.

He SET IT OFF.

He GOT AWAY UNSOUGHT.

The criminal did EVERYTHING HE WANTED TO DO.

If he had bought his ticket a month earlier for the date of the bombing, or paid with a credit card, he'd have been in Dubai.

This bombing was a complete success. NO ACTION OF THE BOMBER WAS PREVENTED.

Sure, if the bomb had been constructed differently, lots of people would have died. This is not a stupid criminal. This is an educated, competent man, he could easily have made a better bomb. He could have easily escaped.

We ASSUME he meant it to go off. Why isn't it just practice?

Hint- today's lessons:

"Wah, Sharif! The Infidels are so eager to show their fear of the True Faith, and to turn our Jihad to domestic political advantage, that they hunt an innocent man, one of their own!

"And their Zionist pig Mayor accuses his own political enemies, without any evidence at all! They are so ripe for civil war, they will do anything to blame their own people, the ones who are our enemies, for doing what we actually do!

And when our Shaheed Brother brings himself to their notice, they apologise to US.

But we have "learned" some things. When we plant the real bombs, make the escape arrangements early, and use credit cards.

Don't buy cars that have been in dealer inventory recently. Use fake names when buying them. Get tinted windows, and put an old blanket over the bomb. Stupid brown people that we are, we could never figure those out!

And plant the real bomb where there will be lots of white infidels around, and security cameras.

Contessa Brewer will wet herself when we shoot up the Harlem schoolyard wearing Klan robes!

Allah is great!"

What Religion is your Caliber?

So, The Smallest Minority suggests thatcalbers are religiously connected. Meme!

My suggestions:

577 Snider is the Torah. Direct descendant of the Brown Bess, (begotten by the Queen Anne, begotten by the dog lock, begotten by the hackbut of Cromwell and Drake (the original Commandment) and out of the .577 Enfield by the Baker and Brunswick.

45-70 is the old testament, but in translation.

8mm Lebel is New Testament, Catholic.

30-06 is Jonathan Edwards'Pilgrim Congregational.

.30 carbine is Quaker.

.303 is Church of England (Blackpowder is the Catholic- burning one, cordite is the one with all the missionaries and the stopping suttee CofE).

Obviously 11mm Mauser id Old Lutheran, 8mm is Reformed.

30-30 is Baptist.

.223 is Methodist.

.243 and .270? Presbyterian.

.22 short? Amish.

22lr? Unitarian, because of the universality.

That leaves 30-40...

And courtesy of commenters:

Phil Wong said...

Gotta pitch in:

7.62X54 - Eastern(Russian) Orthodox

7.5 Swiss - Calvinist

7mmSTW - Mormonism("Western" and made-up ;^) )

6.5X55 Swede - Lutheranism(Uppsala Synod)

6.5 & 7.7 Arisaka - Shintoism

30-40 Krag - Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod(i.e. Norwegian-American)

7.62X39 - Atheist(i.e. Commie)

5.45X39 - Agnostic(i.e. "Atheism-Lite")

Still pondering who's got the temerity to claim .300WM and .50BMG...

Davidwhitewolf said...

.30-40 Krag would be the Church of Norway variant of Lutheran, I'd think.

Also, I'd argue for 7mm Mauser as German Catholic.

Geodkyt said...

Ah, but there's a few good ones missing. . .

7.5mm Swiss -- Zwinglianism

7.92 Kurtz -- Church of Christ

7.62x54mmR Russian -- Islam (Still in front-line, widespread international service with few changes)

7.62x39mm M43 -- Sunni Islam of the Caliphate to present

5.45x39mm -- Nation of Islam

7.62x45mm Czech -- Bahai

4.7mm Caseless -- Scientology

.30-40 Krag -- Conforming Puritans

Anonymous said...

.50 BMG?

How about Televangelist Christian? Big, in your face, expensively produced variation of an old-school message, and effective at long range.

.338 Lapua Mag would be the modern radio equivalent, produced for similar effect at lower cost.

Newbius

Anonymous Stretch said...

50BMG is Old Norse.
The Hammer of Thor.
The bringer of Ragnarök.

Keep them coming. I'll do a provisionalk list next week.

I love some of the explanations, esp. Islam and Mormonism! There has to be a reason beyond "The caliber and the religion come from the same place."

Goldman Sachs, A Few Good Thieves...

Via Tim Iacono (formerly themessthatgreenspanmade), a hilarious piece by The Baseline Scenario! You have to imagine Jack Nicholson in a gorgeous dark suit:

“You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth. Son, we live in a country with an investment gap. And that gap needs to be filled by men with money.

Who’s gonna do it?

You?

You, Mr. Middle Class Consumer?

Goldman Sachs has a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Lehman and you curse derivatives. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what we know: that Lehman’s death, while tragic, probably saved the financial system. And that Goldman’s existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves pension funds. You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want us to fill that investment gap. You need us to fill that gap.

“We use words like credit default swaps, collateralized debt obligation, and securitization… We use these words as the backbone of a life spent investing in something. You use ‘em as a punchline. We have neither the time nor the inclination to explain ourselves to a commoner who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very credit we provide, and then questions the manner in which we provide it! We’d rather you just said thank you and paid your taxes on time. Otherwise, we suggest you get an account and start trading. Either way, we don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!”:

Again With The Hilarious Day Wife...

DW(preparing to leave for the day): "You won't have to put up with me much longer."

Staghounds: "You sound like you're trying to get sympathy from your children before they put you in the old people's place"

"Listen, that might not be so bad for a little while. Get a book to read..."

"And they are all old, you could take them if they tried to cause trouble."

"They would be my b*tches. I'd have all the Ensure I wanted."



But later, she topped that-

Staghounds: "I think I'm going to take up drinking."

DW: "It doesn't help that much."

HELLER Decision Causes Crime...

Yes, because before then D. C. was so safe. And I'm sure he will tell his boss "I was thinking, so glad I don't have a gun while I was rolling around on the pavement wondering if this breath was my last!"

And I Thought It Just FELT Like The Earth Moved...

"Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray and spread adultery in society which increases earthquakes," which brings up two questions:

How much are we paying these Imams to make their religion look stupid?

Why isn't there a maintenance 6.7 Richter vibration at 19 Rue Jean-Jacques Rousseau?

I Hope My Neighbours Like Them Some

Veronicas!

And if that's not eighties enough, there's this.

But the new material is good stuff, particularly this.

The Poor Taliban, They Kidnapped Jack Bauer!

Oops!

Stop Press Tax Idea!!!!

As I said in my last post, I don't mind paying my Federal taxes. One thing I do to help with that is assign some specific purchase to my payment.

And a response from the multitalented and clever, yet charmingly quirky Nancy-"You can buy your own Marine?"- got me thinking.

You know that stupid "Preidential Campaign Fund" check off thing?

We ought to be able to designate where all, or a part, of our taxes go!

It would be simple, set up a list if a thousand or so departments, categories, and that sort of thing. Just fill in the code if you want to specify that your taxes go to Head Start, or the Lawrence Welk Birthplace, have at it! You could specify portions, and even Departments- 25% to the Transportation Department, 20% to Interior, 5% to the Fulbright Scholarship program.

And it has to go where it's designated.

What fun!

Undesignated money goes into the general fund just as it does now.

Just Paid My Federal Income Taxes...

I figure I bought about a quarter of one of these.

Best bargain on the face of the earth.

RACIST New York Times!!!!

Alright, I would like to read a year's worth of the Dalai Lama's personal emails, or check the site visit log for India's Defence Minister.

But my favourite part of this article about a Beijing operated data spy operation has to be the blatant and totally hilarious racism:

one chink in computer security can leave many nations exposed.

True that, as they say. But this ignores other risks.

What if there are crackers in the keyboard?

Feel free to write your own.

UPDATE! It took them ten minutes to scrub the article, replacing "chink" with "gap"- and leaving one for that fourth letter.

(Fifty commenters failed to notice the racist slur. Good example, lefties!)



Tam made this screencap, thanks!



And it's already cited in science, India, and China articles all over the web. Good luck putting all those feathers back, you liars.

I don't like the insult.

I more don't like the double standard about insults, if (name of conservative, business leader, entertainer, or Republican) had said this the NYT would explode with righteous wrath. Self righteous, that is.

"Mr. Imus's slur was the kind of unalloyed racial insult that might not have passed muster on a low-watt AM station in the Jim Crow South."

I most don't like the memory holing of the word. When I went to journo classes, they always told us that the first duty was to truth. That's what makes trained journalists different, isn't it? Absolute commitment to truth?

The Noon(an) Siren..

Overheard at the bait shop...

"Hey, Bob! You look like you seen a ghost!"

"May as well have, but I swear this is true!

I was goin' down the river Saturday lunchtime, right there where it's a half a mile wide. Thinking about that new spot where I almost caught that big old bass last week. All of a sudden, up under the bluff, I heard a bunch of barking dogs, right ahead of me. As I come around this point, I seen them- two of them, big old hounds, standing on a rock ledge right under the water.

And on the rocks right near them was a coyote! It was growling and snarling at the dogs, but they couldn't get to him. They was trying, though- one of them swum around the rocks trying to climb up from behind, I thought the coyote was going to jump on his head and drown him!

And then come the part you won't believe! Down the cliff, climbing hand over hand and sliding when she could, come the prettiest girl I've seen in a long time! She was dressed in tall riding boots and she had a pistol on her hip, and she was trying to get to those dogs and help them catch that coyote!

Well, that wasn't going to happen. Mr. Coyote saw that girl, and me, and glanced up like he figured there would be a helicopter after him next. So he give us all a dirty look and slipped up the rocks like a puff of smoke, there wasn't anything behind him but a trail of river water.

But that left the girl and the dogs stuck on the river. She might have been able to climb out, but the dogs wouldn't have and it was too cold for them to swim far enough to where they could get out on their own.

About then, that girl seen me. And she started waving for me to come in, just like one of them Si-reens form the old mythology times!

Well of course I had to try, and so I run the boat up close enough to Peisinoe that she could lift the dogs and herself in. She told me that a whole bunch of dogs and people were hunting the coyote, and she had a horse up on the top of the bluff.

One of them dogs must have rode in a boat before, he just stood up front with a big old smile on his face!

I carried them down a bit past the bluffs where they could scramble onto the bank, and up they went."


"Bob, you need to stick to them old stories of yours about six foot catfish. Because ain't nobody going to believe that one."

(N.B., I never actually spoke to the fisherman, but the events happened in my presence as described. These hounds are very willing to face water, caught one in a pond two weeks ago. Perhaps next season they will have to copy the French and carry a boat along.)

My Day Wife Is A Stitch...

We already know that my fellow prosecutor is cold as a glacier.

But funny, too. Today we learned that one of our defendants had been shot by persons "unknown" to him. The bullets threaded their way between all vital organs, major arteries, significant blood vessels, and all bones. Treated and released, despite three through and through torso and neck hits.

Upon learning of these events, her comment?

"You just can't kill these mopes".

It appears that as well as being very F. F. V., she is also from 1930.

"Healthcare Will Save Money" Lie...

As far as I know, every time, every where, under every circumstance, health care costs of any group have grossly exceeded all estimates or projections.

ALWAYS.

States, cities, companies, armies, nations, all of them. Throughout the whole history of human endeavor.

It's like night follows day.

I defy the sellers of this slavery to point to a single example of a group health care cost projection that has not been waaaaay too low.

But we will be different!

They are just lying to us now.

The Four Rules in the Hunting Field...

The horse says:

“What are you doing back there, hounds are coming this way!”




“Uh oh…”





“I don’t want to look. Tell me when it’s over…”





Bonus, someone practices her
Four Rules...

Good Defence Lawyering...

Sometimes it happens. Had a theft case the other day, a bag containing an iPod, camera, and telephone was stolen.

Defendant plead guilty.

It was a restitution hearing. The victim had receipts for each item.

Instead of calling the victim an extortionist, which is what they usually do, this lawyer went on line. He looked up each item (or their equivalent) and found the current retail prices, which were less than the prices a year ago.

Everyone was happy. Not for long, the defendant won't pay $300 any more than he would have paid $600.

But it was nice to see a defence lawyer act as if he was interested in a victim being recompensed fairly.

Day of the Lucky Coyotes…

(If you click on the pictures, you will get a full size version with much more detail.)

Day of the Lucky Coyotes…

Bifixtural again. First with the OFH, plenty of pylons.




Hounds were drawing, and we saw this fellow cross the road away:





Hard to see, aren’t they? In the top swathe of stubble in the the plough, half way between the cedar tree and the end of the little covert.



His horoscope was in, they decided to keep drawing in another direction.

Later in the day we saw and holloaed on the chicken bandit depicted below, and again he was rejected for a more likely prospect who failed to deliver.





In the "A" of the pylon-





I did manage to get in trouble. I was trying to get off the road and out of the way, but it looked like I was trying to get ON the road and IN the way. Earned a good stout Hold Hard, and rightly so.

And it was end of day at the OFH. They very generously invited me to their end of season do, and it was lovely.



Quite another time like the dinner after the Equipage de Ph., it is such a pleasure to see a happy family.


Then up to the Home Hunt, where we saw the following series of events. As you look at the first picture, hounds are drawing about a quarter mile in front of my position, far out of sight, on the way home and smelling nothing.




Then, hello, from behind those round bales...




Yes, a big old coyote, bold as brass, crossing the field right in front of us.



He wasn’t “hunted”, but I believe he had received our attentions at another time.



He was definitely clearing the area, stopping regularly to listen to what might be going on behind him.



Eight minutes later, hounds came along and got on board.



Four in front…




You can see how spread out they became, and how quickly.





Unfortunately it was toward the end of the day, so he was given best.




And end of day again.

Hero Rats! Yes, Rats Saving Lives By Detecting Mines...

For serious. "We watched as the rats ran along wires between two handlers. When they smell a landmine, they stop, sniff the ground and begin to dig. This signal lets the Apopo staff know they have found a mine or some other explosive, which can then be removed.

Rats, according to Apopo, are much faster than men using metal detectors and are not distracted by metal contaminants. They are much cheaper to maintain than dogs and are easily passed between different handlers.

And they can be trained for other sensing tasks, too! "Apopo is already running trials in Tanzania using the rats to detect tuberculosis in the saliva of sick patients.

The rats can process as many samples in a matter of minutes as a lab technician can in a day. The rats have even detected TB in samples that had been missed by conventional tests. "

Warning, video of genius search process using big honkin' rat will disrupt your productivity today:



Here's Apopo's web site.

Our Congress are Straight Up Black Liquor Thieves...

It's only six billion dollars or so in estimates, so we can look for about fifteen billion in fact. But you and I are about to buy some paper companies. We are going to do it the government way, though- we will pay the full value and then some, but we won't actually own the companies.

The thing I like about the article is that everyone pretends that they are surprised, that these are "unintended consequences".

Riiiiight.

Some very clever, highly educated, well trained, and well paid people imagined, designed, and sold this profoundly complex "loophole" for their own direct benefit. More than half the Senate just voted, very specifically and publicly, to keep it going.

There are no unintended consequences here, there is no such thing as "government waste".

And MANY THOUSANDS of programs identical in principle.

A tax "loophole" is made to exactly fit someone with its blueprint.

CUI PEDICARE BONO.

A Vocal Horn Couree...

This is sort of an update for another post, but I was just sent this lovely vocal interpretation of a St. Hubert horn blowing, with lovely pictures. Merci, Cecile!

Kings and Queens have the best nicknames, too...

They really do. Sancho the populator? Helen the Tough?

We should use them more today. We could even switch them out with moods.

Health Care Summit, Earmarks, and Pork...

Wouldn't it be nice if someone at the health care summit suggested that the conference bill contain NO earmarks, pork, or other overt corruption? After all there's plenty of patronage and assistance to friends in all this new Federal control, can't they just be satisfied with that?

Stupid (and hilarious) Defence Lawyers...

It often happens that defence lawyers fail to read the files they scream so loudly to get in discovery. When that happens, sometimes there are amusing surprises.

This one is a bit gross.

Trying an armed robbery. Two masked criminals with rifles robbed a couple in an hotel, taking wallets and cell telephones. They then barreled across town, using the stolen telephones, and robbed two cheerleaders coming out of a restaurant, escaping in a car being driven by a third loser. Police pursue, getaway ride wrecks, driver runs one way, passengers run another. Sedan full of stolen goods, masks, rifles, etc. Police catch passengers in flight. A few blocks away, breathless man flags down taxi as police spot and stop him. Police arrest cab hailer based on his proximity and panting. That's all we have on the driver- except that he is carrying the title to the sedan concealed- on which his mother, the recent buyer, has endorsed her name.

So here we are at trial. All three defence lawyers are, um difficult. Bear in mind that the reports, of which I’ve given them copies, tell in detail about how the car title was discovered. I had read that description.

I put the jail admitting officer on. “ When you searched him, what if anything did you find on this defendant?”

“I found a car title…”

“OBJECTION! Lack of foundation! Best evidence rule! Failure to authenticate!!!!”

Very well…

“Have you brought the thing you found to court today?”

”I have. (Holds up car title in clear plastic evidence bag.)”

“Your honor, could I have this marked as an exhibit…”

“OBJECTION! OBJECTION! OBJECTION! We haven’t seen it!” True enough, I had offered them the chance several times and they expressed disinterest. So I held out the bagged title. “Take it out of the bag”, one commands.

“I’ll let you do that if you like, it’s pretty ragged and hard to read. I might tear it or something, you know how clumsy I am.”

So lawyer one pulls the document out of the bag, fondles it, peers closely at it, and passes it to two, who does the same, then three follows. Back down the line, where lawyer onr holds it out to me. "Do put it back in the bag if you please", says I, and he did. I didn't take it, but left it lying on the defence table.


“Now, Mr. Witness, where did you find this car title?”

“On the defendant Smith.”

“How? Because the police didn’t find it when they searched him.”

"We do a more thorough search."

"Explain that for us, please."

“Well, first we have them take off all their clothes, and we go through all the clothes and pockets."

"So it was in his clothes?"

"No. After that, we have them turn around and bend over. I could just see the corner sticking out from between...”

Lawyers, read that file!

Ice storm and temperature line...

On the way to hunt the other day, I snapped this picture which well illustrates the temperature line half way up this mountain near my house. It intrigues me that there is substantially different weather at two points only a couple of rods away from each other.

No wonder scent is such a mystery.